The Reality of Legal Abuse
In the shadow of every contentious divorce, especially those entangled with domestic abuse, lies a sinister form of manipulation that many victims don't anticipate: legal abuse. It’s a pervasive tactic used by abusers to continue exerting control, even after separation. This invisible yet damaging method prolongs the trauma, keeping victims entangled in a nightmare they thought they had escaped.
What Is Legal Abuse?
Legal abuse occurs when an abuser exploits the legal system to further harm, control, or harass their victim. The courtroom becomes their new weapon, allowing them to use frivolous lawsuits, excessive motions, and repeated court appearances to drain the victim emotionally, mentally, and financially. What should be a place of fairness and justice instead becomes a battlefield, with the abuser wielding the law like a tool of torment.
Legal abuse often manifests in several ways:
Filing Excessive Motions: The abuser may file an overwhelming number of unnecessary motions to exhaust the victim's financial resources and mental resilience.
Dragging Out Divorce Proceedings: By refusing to settle or using delay tactics, the abuser can force the divorce to linger on for months or even years, prolonging the victim's anguish.
Weaponizing Custody Battles: Many abusers use children as pawns, falsely accusing the victim of unfit parenting or alienating the children from them to maintain power and control.
False Allegations and Accusations: Accusing the victim of abuse, substance misuse, or other damaging behaviors is a common tactic, turning the tables and forcing the victim to defend themselves.
Manipulating the System: Abusers often try to manipulate judges, mediators, or other legal professionals by portraying themselves as the 'reasonable' party, leaving the victim to appear irrational or hostile.
Why Does It Happen?
For abusers, control is the ultimate goal. When physical, emotional, or verbal abuse is no longer possible due to separation, legal abuse becomes a means to regain that lost power. Abusers understand that the legal system can be slow, expensive, and complicated, and they weaponize this fact against their victims. The courts can often appear neutral, which is where the danger lies; without understanding the dynamics of abuse, judges and attorneys might view the abuser’s motions as legitimate rather than tactics of continued control.
The Devastating Impact on Victims
The consequences of legal abuse can be severe. Financially, victims are drained by ongoing legal fees, and the emotional toll can be immense. Legal abuse leaves victims feeling trapped in an endless loop of court battles and emotional torment. It often retraumatizes survivors who are trying to move forward but are instead pulled back into the cycle of abuse.
Many victims describe feeling like they are being punished for leaving, with no end in sight. The legal system, which should be a place of justice and protection, can instead feel like another tool of oppression when manipulated by an abuser. For many survivors, legal abuse causes more trauma than the initial acts of domestic violence they endured.
How the Divorce Coalition Fights Back
At The Divorce Coalition, we work to educate legal professionals about the realities of legal abuse so that victims are not re-traumatized by the very system meant to protect them. Judges, attorneys, and mediators need to be equipped to recognize legal abuse and hold abusers accountable for these tactics. With better awareness and education, we can create a legal environment where justice prevails, and abuse survivors are protected.
Legal abuse is an injustice that we can no longer allow to go unchecked. By empowering victims with the knowledge of what legal abuse looks like and advocating for reforms in the legal system, we aim to ensure that the courtroom is no longer a tool for abusers to continue their reign of terror.
A Call to Action
If you or someone you know is experiencing legal abuse, know that you are not alone. There are resources available, and The Divorce Coalition is here to help. We are working tirelessly to make sure that victims of abuse are supported through every stage of the divorce process, including the legal battles. Together, we can dismantle this form of abuse and ensure that survivors find the freedom they deserve.
About the Author
This blog was written by Beverly Price, a Certified Divorce Coach and CEO of The Divorce Coalition, a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization dedicated to improving the divorce experience for domestic abuse survivors. Beverly is passionate about helping women navigate the challenges of divorce while empowering them to rebuild their lives. Through her work with The Divorce Coalition, Beverly advocates for systemic change in the divorce process to ensure that abuse survivors are supported and not re-traumatized. To learn more about Beverly’s services or The Divorce Coalition, visit Her Empowered Divorce.
